Thursday, January 9, 2014

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

As I near 18,000 pedometer steps today, and 14,000 steps yesterday (approx 13 miles so far), I feel I may indeed be wearing a circle path thin in my carpet at my home as I walk circles and pace: bleary-eyed, teary-eyed, and heavy-sighed.  The last 2 days have been overwhelming to say the least, emotionally exhausting indeed.

Yesterday we learned (both as teachers and as parents) that unfortunately due to $$ constraints and repeated low enrollment that the Board unanimously decided to close down my home away from home, Eagle Cove School, at the end of this school year.

Here is the place that I watched my Kindergarten daughter graduate from 5th grade last year, giving a speech and all (and even in a dress!!). It was here she took on 5th grade boys on the soccer field when she was in 1st and 2nd (which is a proud moment for a mom on recess duty!) Here is where my li'l PreK boy could go from holding hands with a class gal pal to screaming "Don't look at me" (hard to do when one is screaming)... in a nanosecond!  It is here that my PreK'er has become an amazing 2nd grade reader & a class leader--one who I was soo looking forward to having in my 3rd grade class with me next year, just as I had Delaney in my class 3 years ago.  Better than homeschooling by 100-fold!   And the thing that makes me tear up every time.

It is here I found my footing in my 5th school "I have ever taught at" in the 3 states in "I have ever lived."  It is here where in my 3rd grade classroom has become my "room with a view" of the Magothy River & the Chesapeake Bay Bridge.  I found my niche as an environmental educator in this amazing "Maryland Green" school. I became a self-taught whiz as an EdTech iPadLandia teacher--what fun can be had in the classroom & teaching teachers, and what autonomy I have enjoyed!!  It was here I saw Jane Goodall speak, and it was because of here, I met Dr. Ben Carson with my class.

It is here at Eagle Cove School that I have found 2 dozen amazing colleagues, all of whom I love and adore for their creativity and their wisdom, their willing to jump in and do all the hard work, and then jump back and celebrate together.  Such comradery, laughter, and common vision.  A group of educators, and a family of friends.  I have had them for 6 1/2 years, and I will have them for another 5 months.   I can't imagine not seeing them daily for the next dozen years.  Eagle Cove School was the kind of place I felt I could have retired the very least, I was eager to see Ian graduate from 5th grade from there.

I have come to a place in my life where I still don't like "change" (and doubt, given my personality, I ever will).  I like to believe in the illusion of "control."   But I also have seen evidence that "everything happens for a reason."  I have seen one job does indeed serendipitously lead to the next. Almost like it was predestined or meant to be.  I have seen it occur almost as magic.  It's just hard now, changing the expectation that Ian won't graduate from the school that I know and love and thought he would see all the way through.   Yet, on an early level (and a core level), I know that the serendipitous path will lead us to a great place...all I need to do now is remember that in the stressful times!!
I have begun thinking that we have these 2 dozen of us "Eagle Covians" who are versed in green and eco-living.  If we go out to 24 new schools, think of the message we can begin to send.  Think of the vision we all can begin to share.  Perhaps it is time to spread us to the wind so that we can go forth and work toward a great place.  Some may call that hopeful, or idealistic, or perhaps even "Pollyanna-ish," but maybe that's the purpose of where we are now.

I am still bleary-eyed and teary-eyed, and hating the whole idea of this "job hunting" thing, but maybe there is method in this madness.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
When given lemons, make a li'l lemonade and vodka!
Cheers to my friends, colleagues, comrades, and ECS pals!!

Photo:  "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" pic from

ECS boat pic from

Jane Goodall pic from

The Waders March pic from

Oyser kiss

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